Updated: Feb 7
More peripherals than a French cyborg inspector~
It is I!
The Grand Poobah of The Half-Baked Cumberbach Clan.
I come before you today, to bring to the front of our console battle-royale; a forgotten relic of a time before the Mario Brother…
A time before Zelda was less a legend, and more a glint in the King of Hyrule’s balls…
A time before men were mega…
A TIME…. BEFORE DUCKS WE’RE HUNTED!
Flash! 1982– August or some such..
Coleco Industries launches a second generation answer to the question: “How to get arcade in house pease?“.
Those ain’t Wii motes, kids…
This cartridge based system; while running on very commonly used hardware of other consoles at the time– was still quite a powerful contender despite it’s short lifespan.
This of course was primarily due to the various hardware expansions available for it.
First and foremost:
Space invaders AND Zaxxon, on ONE console?!
That’s right kids!
Destroy sentient life all across the cosmos!
The handy dandy expansion port in the front of the Colecovision allowed for a partering with the widely popular Atari 2600. In doing so, you could now play just about every single title available across both systems, in one fell swoop!
Next– Less of an expansion and more of a peripheral…
But let’s not forget: This was an era in which peripherals we’re a much bigger deal than simply a fancy controller or fabric dance pad.
This steering wheel/Gas Pedal attachment was quite an endeavor and allowed for one of the first at-home racing simulations ever.
Even allowing players to use a standard controller in the second controller port as a gear shifter!
The third available expansion module for the Colecovision:
…Yup…(and thats totally Zaxxon on that screen…)
A whole goddamn computer conversion kit…
Known as the ‘Adam’. This complete conversion turned your Coleco into a fully fledged home computer! Casette writer/reader, keyboard, printer– the works.
This device also served as the replacement for the never released ‘super game module’; A tape drive and expanded RAM set reportedly capable of running more powerful titles.
Ultimately within the same parameters as the Adam’s capabilities though~
(Note: Probably won’t run Overwatch…)
Expansions aside, the Colecovison touted an impressive library of 145 titles that featured some of my favorites.
Now– I’ve never personally owned the system myself… Nay…Instead, this was a console my GRANDmother owned.
All five feet flat, of angry Italian that she was…
Anyways– when the mood struck her, she’d let us pull the Coleco out of ‘The Hutch’ and my cousin Jason would have to agree to hook the damn thing up…
You see, our cable box at the time was as ancient as the Coleco itself, and therefore required a neuroscience degree to manipulate effectively… And god forbid my grandfather would be unable to play his VCR tapes when we we’re done.
So it had to be done right…
Anyway– when it finally happened… It was on like…well…
And Time Pilot…
The Popeye game…
And of course….
My personal favorite..
…I believe you get the point.
But before I leave you folks with that to ponder, I feel it’s only right to bring mention to the Colecovision’s forefather.
How Brady Bunch is that?
That’s right folks. The Telstar Alpha, videogame system by Coleco industries!
Bringing the magic of Pong into your home since 1978.