• Captain Pain

I Hate Fanboys!

Nowadays every fanboy wanna talk like they got something to say about the Playstation 5 and the Xbox Series X.

But nothing comes out when they move their lips, just a bunch of gibberish about which system is going to be better, or which system is going to have the better exclusive games, but motherfuckers act like they forgot about Nintendo!



Hi kids, Captain Pain here, and yes its that time once again. Both Sony and Microsoft have announced their next generation consoles. This is normally an exciting time for most gamers, since we get to see what the new consoles look like, what the specs are, for those who understand that, see what new games are coming out, and unfortunately what old game you might have to buy again to play it on the next fen consoles, *cough, cough, GTA5, cough*. Sorry about that, felt like I had something stuck in my thumbs. Now where was I, oh right, so why am I not excited about this? Because of them, the fanboys.


Who are these creatures? These are the people that defend their favorite company, as if their life depending on it, or at least if they were on Sony's or Microsoft's payroll. These people have their heads so far up these companies assess, and their heads so far up each each other assess, that when Tom Six saw this, it inspired him to create the Human Centipede movies. This thing is not something that is new. Hell, I grew up during the "Bit Wars" between Nintendo and Sega during the 90's. Those were fun times, because it wasn't like today when you have people yelling at each other over the internet, see back then you told someone that they were a dumb fuck for liking Nintendo or Sega to their face, and you risked that person knocking you the fuck out! Good times, Good times.


My question is this to these fanboys, why do you guys give a fuck so much? Its not like these companies give a fuck about you. All they care about is separating you from your money. Its fine to prefer one console over another, but you don't have to be fucking cunts over it. The fuck is wrong with you people? And this is coming from a guy that is a complete asshole, so if I'm telling you this, you know that you done fucked up!


So for the rest of that just are not fanboys, I'm going to tell you how to disarm one of these nut bags. When they start going off about how Playstation or Xbox is better, just tell them that you wouldn't know or really care about that, you only play Nintendo consoles. Why does this disarm them you may ask? Because most of them have a switch as a secondary console, and how good the system is, they can't believe that someone would only have that. Try to do this to someone in person. That way you can watch in person as their brain literally turn to goop, and watch it leak out of their ears, so much fun! I'm Captain Pain, and go fuck yourself!

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