• Captain Pain

No More Dick Pill Commercials

Updated: Feb 7, 2020

The following opinions are not necessarily those of the HBCL or other representatives of the HBCL HBCL Public Relations

We all seen them, those commercials for some new drug that is going to help with whatever ails you. The worse of these commercials are those fucking dick pill ones. These things are fucking horrible! It doesn’t matter if its a Viagra commercial or a Cialis one they fucking suck, and the are just weird as hell.

Ok, so we all seen the eczema commercials, people covering up, wearing long sleeves and turtle necks in nice weather, so they can avoid the stares and embarrassing questions. They see the doctor, get the pills/cream, and their skin clears up, and they are now running around in short sleeves or half naked at the beach. This commercial makes sense. You understand the whole concept of it. Then you have these dick pill commercials. At first, you have no idea what they are selling, cause they usually start off with a couple out on a date, or doing gardening, or just basic things together, or one is doing the activity, while the other watches. Then you hear the announcer talking, and thats when you realize that this is a dick pill commercial.

Ok, I get it, I know that sex can happen at anytime, but they just seem like they couldn’t go about it a better way. And where do they find some of these people to play the couples? Most are just fine, but then you got the grey hair couple that look too old to fuck, without breaking a hip or two. Then you got the couple with the guy with either grey or salt and pepper hair that looks like 45+, and the woman that looks like she is in her late 20s early 30s. So, you just assume that she is at least the second wife. The best one is the same couple that I just mentioned, but this time they have they have kids 10 and younger. Now its confirmed that she is the trophy wife, cause I doubt that she had that first kid in her teens. No wonder those last two guys need dick pills, they need to keep up with that woman that they are at least 10 years older than.

You may be wondering, how do I know so much about these commercials? Well, like many American males, I’m a sports fan. Like many American sport fans over the past 10 years, we have been bombarded with these commercials. Almost every break, there was one of these ads. There was almost no escape, cause they were a sponsor for almost every major sports league. The worse was Major League Baseball! The fuck! 162 games, plus playoffs, plus most parks had a sign on the wall or fence near the warning track, or right behind home plate. Like I said, damn near impossible to escape.

Personally I hate all of these commercials for these prescription medications, and I wish that all of them would just fuck off, and never be seen on tv again. Since that won’t happen, can we make the dick pills one more honest and realistic? Why not show a couple laying in bed, the man looks frustrated, and the woman looks disappointed, and you hear the announcer ask “Can’t get it up? Get these pills?” How about a guy walking to his car heading to work, his wife waving bye, and then the hunky pool boy pulls ups, and the wife gives him a look. The announcer says “Afraid that she is getting some elsewhere? Get these pills!” Maybe an older gay couple, both look confused, and one says to the other, “Does this means that we have to reverse roles now?” The announcer says “Don’t do that, get these pills!” Idk maybe I’m overthinking this!

I’m Captain Pain and Fuck You!

#CaptainPain #RantFridays #Series #Specials

1 view0 comments

Recent Posts

See All