• Captain Pain

Perfection Exists

Updated: Feb 7, 2020

Well, kinda…

Good afternoon, Leaguelettes–

It is I!~

Who else? The Captain never opens with such assetry.

Thats right, It’s The Chairman once again, with what was supposed to be our final article of Dragon Ball Month.

Instead– I’ve decided to sneak a super special surprise in at the end of the month for all you naughty little Oozaru.


Jeeze– calm your tits…

At any rate, for those of you who couldn’t guess– the star of today’s show is the guy we all love to hate: Cell! Now, a few weeks ago I’d posted about the Android Saga of DBZ– well this is a treat for those of you who are chronologically inclined.

For it is shortly after the android menace had reared it’s ugly head– that the true threat behind them would reveal itself. And we’re talking deep seeded plot devices here.

For instance– do you remember the Red Ribbon Army? Yaknow– from Dragon Ball? Not Z– not GT– Regular, old ass Dragon Ball.

Go watch it if you’ve no idea what I’m on about– but for those of you that do; please read on.

So for those of you that are aware of the Red Ribbon manifesto– you’d know that the upper echelons of the organization are made only of the best fighters and greatest minds throughout a variety of industries. Including robotics.

Yes, that was the whole idea behind the Android saga.

Red Ribbon Robots!

Good ole Doctor Gero– yaknow, the guy that looks like Megaman’s Dr.Wiley stuck his finger into an electrical socket?


Yeah. this guy

You might not recognize him without the rediculous hat.

Regardless– his malformed miscreants of  robotic rampage were only a singular piece of the puzzle. For unknown to our heroes– hidden deep in the side of a mountain, because… where else?– the ultimate creation of Dr. Gero sleeps… and waits…



Okay, so apparently it hatches too.. Just, ew..

Cell is his name– and sucking the life out of any organic, fleshy source– is his game.. And I frankly, do not want to play.

Once hatched– the maligned Cell has but a singular purpose: Consume.

You, me– your dog, your uncle.. Cell doesn’t care. He just wants us in him, and frankly without buying us dinner first– I’m a little put off…

Anyway– Cell was constructed using exactly that. Cellular data (not to be confused with LTE..) of all of the most powerful Z fighters.

A Namekian’s regeneration…

A Saiyan’s zenkai…

And yes– a Human’s sense of self worth…

Is there anything more terrifying than a whiney ‘snowflake’ who just gets stronger when you bitch slap him..? I think not.

This set of Saga’s got everything. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry– you’ll get pissed off at Vegeta. It’s got something for the whole family, really.

But don’t take my word for it…

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We’re adjourned~

#DragonballMonth #Series #Anime #TheChairman #TheHBCL

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