• Captain Pain

The World Wide Leader in BS

Welcome back, Welcome back, Welcome back, Well come back! Captain Pain has made his return. I here to chew bubble gum and spit venom, and I'm all out of gum!


Fake news! We have been hearing that a lot lately the the past few years. Surprisingly enough, where it comes from the most is not CNN or Fox News, it actually comes from ESPN! I know, some of you are scratching your heads asking yourself how is that possible? Well its simple, they hire people not based on their looks, but based on their sports knowledge, and allow them to express their own thoughts and opinions, that make them sound dumb, instead of sticking to facts and other hard data. Now don't get me wrong there is nothing wrong with expressing your opinion when you have a platform to do so. The problem is when you express that opinion, that makes you sound like you have no idea what you are talking about.


Before I get into this, I want you to know that I used to love ESPN. I used to wake up and watch either Sportscenter or Mike and Mike in the morning before I would leave for school, and I would fall asleep watching Sportscenter at night. Even back then, they had people on shows, normally the newspaper guys that would have a bias against teams, players, and coaches, and you know what I got that. The guy in Miami, can't say anything nice about the Pats and Tom Brady at the time, if he expects the people in Miami to keep buying the paper he works for and read his articles. At least then they would be called out for being biased by other newspaper people, but now nobody even tries to hide their bias.


The past 10 years or so ESPN has slowly been going down the toilet! It seems like everyday more and more people are changing the channel, or dropping the channel completely, and honestly I don't blame them. Why would people want to watch sports anchors tell them that a quarterback is not a top 10 quarterback because, "He throws the ball to open receivers". Umm, I thought that was what he was supposed to do. Or how about boxers are tougher than mma fighters, because "Tapping out is built into the sport." Wow! I like the argument between boxers and mma fighters, but anyone with common sense would not use that to try to prove their point. Simply put if a mma fighter has to tap out, the fight is over. They figured out that the hold they are in they can't escape from, and they aren't going to risk injury or death, trying to prove to idiots how tough they are, by passing out, or having something break for our entertainment. These aren't even the most ridiculous things that I have heard over the years, I could easily list more, but I don't want to be here for the rest of my life writing this thing.


Does ESPN do anything when their anchors spout out all of this silliness? Hell no! They actually embraced it. So almost every year, ESPN fires a bunch of workers, claiming budget cuts, but at the same time giving other raises and new shows, so that they are on one of their many TV channels, as well as their national radio. How come they do this, well they figure out that these anchors have build up a large audience/followers, mostly filled with people that are haters. These people hate watch/listen to these anchors, so they can share whatever outrageous thing they say all over social media. So instead, of using their talents to cater to the fanbase that actually like these anchors, the anchors now cater to the hateful people, since they tend to watch/listen longer than the people that actually like them. So in all reality, its a ploy to get the haters to share out what they say, for more hit/views, so that ESPN can justify what they charge advertisers, even though ESPN subscriptions numbers have been falling each year. There only saving grace, has been the PPV deal they have with the UFC, but how long is that really going to last, when ESPN's top anchors spout out bullshit about the sport, simply because they don't like MMA, or because they don't get it. I guess that's enough bashing ESPN for now, they do it to themselves on a regular basis. I'm Captain Pain, and go fuck yourselves!



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